Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Motivation...yeah, whatever

So here I sit trying to motivate myself to go to the gym. (sound of crickets) I have this membership to, what is as far as I know, the only gym in Alaska, and I do go but just not this week...or last week. I'm one of those people who tells everyone I have a membership to the gym and then sit at home and watch court shows all day.

Actually, I have been going but last week was a total wash. Who thought that it would EVER be 48 degrees in Alaska in the middle of December? All the snow and ice will melt away...bullshit...no it didn't. The powdery snow in my driveway and on my street melted quietly away leaving a treacherous, evil slick of ice that not even "They Great One" Gretzky could slap a puck on. In these conditions you find snow to walk in or you fall down. I fall down. I fell down twice on a 100 yard trek to the bus stop. I left the mail in the mailbox for three days because I didn't want to walk across the street and get it. They have these spike things here that you can slide over your boots to help you get traction. Notice I said "they". I do NOT have any but "they" sure seem to. And "they" are the one's laughing their well-tractioned asses off while I am slipping around like a drunk penguin.

Do you know what the really funny thing is though? I'm the only one that has gone ass to street so far. I truly don't get it. My friends from southern California don't slip. My neighbors across the street? That's right, non-slippers. None of them wear spikes either. Me? Fell as soon as I stepped out of the snow and onto "Suicide Lane". Do I walk differently than everyone else? Does it look funny? Someone should have told me these things when I was a kid.

I'll be back soon. I hear "The People's Court" coming on.


At 6:12 AM , Blogger Mathias said...

Drunk Penguin!! That is hilarious. My mom is quite the clutz herself. Those non-slippers must be laughing their asses off at your expense. :) You poor thing. :)


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