Why are you staring?

Whipped Cream and Amber's Husband Joe

One day I decided to go out to the coffee shack in our parking lot to get a frozen coffee drink...which makes all KINDS of sense when it is 4 degrees outside and gale force windy. Amber's husband, Joe, was also getting a drink so I sat in his car with him.

I was invited. Don't think I just barrelled on in.

The girl making my drink and asked if I wanted some whipped cream in my sugar-free, fat-free drink and I replied that I would like some but "just a little bit".

She hands me the drink by way of Joe and wouldn't you just know that the "just a little bit" of whipped cream that I agreed to had filled all the air space in the dome lid and was pouring out onto the outside of the cup. I had to get the stuff off of there before I got it on my clothes and in the car and there was only one way to do it...

lick it off...

...in front of Joe...

...in the front seat of their family sedan.

I told him to look away and he gave me a rash of shit about it. I even put up hand blinders so he couldn't see me. Later Amber comes up and gives me a rash of shit in equal measure. This post was borne of this incident. It started off as an e-mail to Erin and Amber.

Hey Amber: Sorry about the soft-core porn in front of your husband. Sigh.
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In my head I looked like this:





In reality I probably looked like this:





And this:





And then I was a black guy:

posted by Shannon Land Post @ 1:41 PM